I lookeds back on my callow youth, and when I do a smile on my now mature but pitted face. I hardly recognize te naïve girl I once was.yes,ive grown up,more zits,bigger everything J that’s definitely not an advantage for me. I hate growing up,moreover,turn te head of two,which is like less than two years time.fated.-mellows
sigh,I need a holiday badly,I need breaks though ive been having a mini one at home everyday,I need to touch my books seriously,I need to push myself,I need t get t illetas,that’s where you can have your holiday worth going cus te villas and hotels are magnificent and te foliage is even more abundant.ohs,I need so many things. L I need you by my side from this day on till then,why am I sucha weak woman?but youre alwas busy and I know theres no one I can jack ass t(blame) cus you didt want it either.i fully understand that baby.i love you. J
and baby,I have t admit something,or maybe confess,ive been trying t study,revision I mean,I couldn’t help but getting tempted t do some other things,or maybe,get tired of te topic,and drag myself t bed cus my eyes are hurting me.ive really tried,im still trying though but im sorry for promising t keep myself awake each time te words in te book hurt my eyes and I couldn’t. im a weak mofo. L okay,I wont stop trying till exams over.i know I can do it,I know I can get good results,I know what ive promised ill do.like te once upon a some time,I promised t prove it t someone that I will do well for my Ns. and I did it with a great grade nine.but it was unworthy.cus no concern was made.bahs,forget it. I did a motivation t myself by te way..i keep writing mainly these two obviously crazy,huge motivation notes on my desk that says “get t victoria jc or die”,and te other says “go to temasek poly and live” is it ironic?or is it a good sign?am I a person with good self motivation or what?no,i think im psyched :D but I had it pasted everywhere in my study table even under my pillow when I sleep,t scare myself you see.sigh ,see how much I suffer at a young age like this?mentally suffered such tormentation. I know I know,I know what I should do,don’t worry tho much sweetheart,I know you care about me .I wont do stupid things.Have faith please?